


mockingjay to capitol mutt

by marveluskai



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games (Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:02:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23935789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marveluskai/pseuds/marveluskai
Summary: what if katniss everdeen was kidnapped by the capitol at the end of the 3rd quarter quell in place of peeta mellark? this is that story
Relationships: Katniss Everdeen/Katniss & Peeta's Children/Peeta Mellark, Katniss Everdeen/Peeta Mellark
Kudos: 15





	1. in snow's hands

**Author's Note:**

> this will have multiple chapters! hope y'all enjoy chapter 1, it's sort of an intro

her eyes shot open. all she could see was a brightly lit room, walls all white, hospital equipment next to where she laid. the last thing she could remember was shooting an arrow into the arena’s forcefield when the lightning struck and being lifted out in a capitol ship. she was no longer in her quarter quell outfit, instead in a soft hospital night gown. she tried to get up but felt her body constricted to the bed. her wrists and ankles had been strapped down. her heart raced, her body was sore, she felt like she couldn’t breathe. 

“help! please help!” she yelled, her voice hoarse. 

she heard a click to her left, quickly turning she saw a capitol doctor walk in. the doctor looked warm and kind. her hair was a soft, pastel lavender. a small smile graced her face. she wore grey scrubs, something capitol citizens would never dare to wear. katniss’ heart was still racing yet somehow she was starting to feel comfort in seeing such a warm person at the door. 

“good morning, katniss,” the young woman spoke softly.   
“my name is saffrin ashstone and i am one of your nurses. you’ve been a sleep for a couple days, i hope you’re feeling rested. we have given you antibiotics and pain medication to help your body. i know you must wonder why you are restrained. we felt it would be the best decision since you’d be waking up in an unknown place. but don’t worry, you’re safe here,” she continued as she sat down in the chair besides katniss’ bed. 

it took katniss a bit to process all the information. she was in the capitol. it had been a few days since the quarter quell explosion. she was restrained to a bed and had no idea if the nurse was actually telling her the truth. she was in snow’s grasp. he finally got her right where he wanted. 

“i’m thirsty,” katniss managed to speak. 

the nurse grabbed a cup of water from the bedside table and helped katniss drink. she raised the bed beforehand so katniss was sitting up fully. the restraints on her body started to itch and burn, she wanted to get out of there. she wanted to go home. she wanted to see prim and her mom. she wanted to see haymitch and effie. she needed to see peeta, to know he was alive. afterall, she kept telling him that he should be the one to survive the games. 

“where’s peeta?” she questioned.   
“why am i here? what’s going on?” she continued. 

“the arena was destroyed. you shot an arrow and it broke the barrier. we lost all camera coverage and had no idea what was going on inside. by the time they got to the arena, you and johanna were the only ones still there. you both were unconscious and needed immediate medical attention. that’s all i know, sweetheart. i’m sorry i don’t have any more information,” saffrin spoke, giving katniss a sad smile. 

katniss nodded, staying silent. another person entered the room. he held a tray of food. her wrist restrains had been removed so she could eat her first real meal in days. after she was finished eating, the nurses moved her to a more comfortable hospital room. this room had actual color, it wasn’t plain white. there was a capitol tv system hooked up on the wall. there was a window near where the bed lay. saffrin accompanied katniss to her new room. 

suddenly the tv switched on and a mandatory broadcast was displayed. it was president snow. there he was, sitting in all his glory in his mansion, speaking to the capitol and districts about what had happened at the arena. he mentioned how all the victors, besides katniss and johanna, were missing. don’t worry, he stressed, the girls were in good hands with the capitol doctors and they were making sure to add extra protection to the capitol. her blood was boiling, how could he act like he was her savior? after putting her back into another hunger games, after manipulating her, after specifically trying to destroy her. 

“i want to go home,” she said.  
“the doctors in my district can take care of me just fine, i want to go home,” she repeated. 

“oh, honey, i don’t get to make the decision. i’m just a nurse here,” saffrin replied.  
“but don’t you worry, you should be back to perfect health soon. why don’t you try to get some more rest?” saffrin finished, making sure katniss was comfortable in the bed. 

katniss knew better than to fight back in that moment. she knew she’d need more rest and trust from saffrin to be able to escape or get help to escape. she nodded her head at saffrin and rest her head upon her pillow. they always did have much more comfortable furniture in the capitol compared to home. she had no idea how she would find peeta, finnick and her family. she had no idea if they were still alive themselves. but she knew one thing, she had to comply with president snow so she could have things her way, so she could be free once and for all.


	2. image override

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> katniss is still trying to figure out how to get out of the hospital and go home but she finds it much harder than she thought, for the capitol's poison had already started spreading throughout her veins.

the damp sand leading to the water felt cool against her body. she was looking at peeta softly. she took these moments to admire him. she noted the little scratches upon his face, how his outfit started to tatter on his shoulders. she noticed how his lightly colored hair was damp, the drops of water on his face. he looked so beautiful to her. she wanted this moment to last forever. 

“nobody needs me,” he said sadly.  
“i do. i need you.” she replied right away before leaning in to kiss him. 

this was the kiss they had waited for. his hands were on the sides of her neck, trying to pull her in closer as if that were even possible. it didn’t matter that they were in the arena, it was just the two of them on the beach. his lips tasted sweet and felt soft. she didn’t want to open her eyes, afraid he would be gone. the world melted around them, sand become thick water. peeta started to taste like salt and her lips started to burn. she opened her eyes in horror to see that peeta had disappeared. there was ash where he had been, resting on the thick water in a clump. 

she screamed out for him but no sound came out of her mouth. she stood up and tried to move but her feet were stuck in the thick fluid beneath her, now a dark black, almost like tar. she had his necklace clutched in her fingers. that melted too. she closed her eyes and muttered to herself “this cant be real, this cant be real.” 

she opened her eyes, her body jolting on the bed. she was in her hospital room, not the arena. she was still restrained to the bed. her heart was beating fast, she felt like she was running out of breath. she wanted peeta to climb into bed with her, hold her, let her know she was okay. very little light came through her window, for the sun had barely started to rise. 

“hello?” she called out. 

maybe one of the nurses would let her have an early breakfast and let her walk around the hospital floor. she was desperate to get out of bed. she heard a click, the sound of the door opening, and peered to her side. saffrin walked in, looking just as warm and lovely as she had earlier. saffrin gave katniss a small smile. 

“good morning, katniss. is everything alright?” saffrin asked in a soothing voice. 

“morning, saffrin. i’m alright. i was just wondering if i can have some breakfast and shower. maybe even walk around so i can get out of bed?” her voice dripped in desperation. 

maybe they were hiding peeta and had been lying to her. maybe she was still in the games. more hallucinations, like she had from the trackerjackers poison in the first hunger games. saffrin told katniss she was more than welcome to shower and have breakfast, that she’d personally keep katniss company while she went for a walk. finally out of her restraints, she took a nice, long, well deserved shower. she let the hot water hit her body and scrubbed herself clean. yet, she still felt like she was covered in the tarry water from her nightmare, afraid the shower would fill up and drown her. 

when she had finished her shower she saw peeta’s necklace laying on the bed along with the pearl he had given her. she dressed in the soft and classy outfit that was next to the necklace, a royal blue sweater and black leggings. she placed his necklace around her neck and placed the pearl in the inside pocket the sweater had. finishing her look with her classic braid, she then slipped on the black slippers in front of the bed and opened her bedroom door, there saffrin was waiting for her. 

the hospital here was quite different than the one at home. here, the rooms felt less like a hospital and more like a bedroom. the corridors led to rooms for dining purposes or for doctors and nurses to lounge in during their breaks. she noticed some doors dare not be opened while katniss was near, this scared her. breakfast was quiet. saffrin tried to start small talk a few times but gave up when she noticed katniss wouldn’t reply. katniss barely ate. she tried to force herself to eat but everything made her feel like  
vomiting. before she knew it, everything around her was black and she was out like a candle’s flame that ran out of wick to burn. 

she felt a sharp pinch in her neck, forcing her to wake up. her body had been restrained again, this time in a chair. she looked around the room, bright, all white, nothing on the walls except for a tv, some hospital equipment next to her chair. saffrin wasn’t there. she didn’t recognize anyone in the room. 

“oh good, you’re awake. we can begin now,” a male nurse spoke. 

“begin what? where am i? what are you doing to me?” her voice got louder the more questions she asked. 

there was no answer. instead, the tv turned on. time started to slow down around her, she felt like every moment she made was in double the speed it normally took her. an image popped up on the screen. it was her in a picture her mom took of her when she turned 16. her mom couldn’t provide much but she wanted to cherish her daughter’s 16th birthday forever, she didn’t know if katniss would be reaped or survive to be an adult. another image popped up on the screen. and another one and another one. her mind was having trouble processing everything that was happening. images and videos of her life were flashing in front of her. moments of her in the hunger games, on the victory tour, in district 12. moments of just her and peeta. moments of her and gale, of her and prim.

she couldn’t recognize some pictures. it puzzled her. she wondered if the explosion in the arena had damaged her brain. she wondered if those moments had even happened at all. another image popped up. she recognized this one. another one popped up. and another one. this time it was the video of her and peeta with the berries in their hands, but the berries were gone. blood had replaced the berries. her hands were dripping with dark red blood, like when a bowl breaks. peeta was lying on the ground, an arrow in his heart. she won the games by herself. another moment popped up. her cheeks were wet with tears. she tasted salt on her lips. another moment appeared. and another one. until everything stopped, time stood still, and she passed out in the chair.


	3. a flicker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> katniss has spent a couple weeks in the capitol and that was all it took for her fire to have a flicker. she is slowly but surely turning to be pro-capitol.

“are you ready?” saffrin asked katniss, standing behind her. 

katniss was looking in the mirror. she wore a dark red gown that fit her perfectly. her hair was done in a similar fashion to her past looks before the games. she had two little braids that connected to one in the back and her dark, luscious hair was in big curls. gold dipped flowers were tucked into parts of her hair. her makeup was not too out there. she had a natural look besides the daring red lipstick and smoky eye look on her eyelids. she had a necklace on, this time it wasn’t peeta’s. she looked like she belonged in the capitol. 

“i suppose i am,” katniss replied, giving a sad smile to saffrin as she turned to face her. 

her dress did not burn like the past times. after all, cinna was gone. the last she saw was him being beaten as she was going up the tube for the quarter quell and she hadn’t seen him at all since being in the capitol. maybe her new designer was instructed to not let it burn so she didn’t have any symbols of the rebellion when she went live with caesar flickerman to address all of panem. she and saffrin walked silently to the interview room. she was updated somewhat on the issues currently going on. 

peeta, finnick, and the rest had been taken by the rebellion. she saw a clip of peeta and finnick sending a message to the capitol from where the rebellion had been hiding. they looked like they were doing pretty good for only being a couple weeks out of the games. it was a short clip but it was more than enough for her. they were continuing what the districts had desperately been trying to do. she saw caesar walking towards her and quickly gave him a small smile. he had an extravagant suit like always and this time his hair was a mix of purple and pink, styled just like it always was: slicked back and in a pony tail. 

“ah, katniss, the girl on fire, how are you my dear?” he questioned as he placed his hands on her shoulders in an attempt to be comforting. 

“i’m doing alright, caesar. the nurses and doctors here have been so graciously treating me well and ensure my health gets back to perfect,” she replied, placing her hand on top of his to give him a silent thank you. 

and so, the interview began. it would be broadcasted to every single citizen of panem who had access to a tv set. she was sitting in the comfortable yet professional lounge chair, her right leg crossed on top of her left. you could see her fancy white heels now. she knew she had to comply with the capitol, give answers to show she was with the capitol, FOR the capitol. he would ask her some simple questions, such as how she felt while being in the games or how she was doing health wise, and she would answer. she gave gracious answers, always making sure to compliment the capitol and let them know she was grateful. now came time for the last question. 

“katniss, do you have anything to say to your family, your friends? surely they must be dying to hear from you,” he asked, and slightly raised his eyebrow. 

“yes, i do. peeta, gale, prim, mom, finnick, if you’re out there, please listen to what i have to say. please think about how your actions affect everyone in panem. i can assure you the capitol under president snow’s wonderful care is trying to make sure everyone can be safe and healthy. i miss you and care for you all so much but can’t bare to see the rebels break down the peace we currently have.” she smiled at the camera after speaking. 

her voice was calm and warm at the same time. everyone in the capitol had loved her message, they loved their darling. but everyone in the rebellion did not. peeta and finnick had watched the whole broadcast. they noticed a decent sized bruise at the base of her neck. the more she spoke in favor of the capitol, the more angry everyone at the base got. they were yelling at the screens, screaming at how she was a traitor. some people even threw their metal cups towards the screen out of frustration. and all her friends and family could do were watch and have their hearts be broken. they knew that wasn’t how she felt, it possibly couldn’t be how she felt. their katniss would never stand for the capitol or tell them to back down.

the cameras in the interview room had shut down and people were starting to clean up the set, however katniss was still sitting down. she wondered if they did get her message. she wondered if they hated her for being so pro-capitol instead of for the rebellion. she wondered what peeta’s face had looked like when he saw the message. would his hazel eyes look away from the screen because he couldn’t bare to see her go against what she had stood for? would he think of her as a liar again like he had at the beginning? would he still love her with every fiber in his body? 

“sweetheart, it’s time to go to dinner with some of the members from the council. that’s the last of our schedule for today and then you get to rest,” saffrin smiled at katniss, placing her hand on katniss’ shoulder. 

katniss nodded and stood up. every time she heard someone address her as “sweetheart” all she could think about was haymitch. he always called her sweetheart. while her own father was gone, she started to look to haymitch as a dad himself. she knew he was a mess and had an alcohol problem but he was always there for her and tried to protect her the best he could. hearing saffrin mention the schedule only made her think of effie. effie was always a strict schedule follower which always bothered katniss. but nonetheless she loved effie with all her heart. effie may have seemed like a mindelss capitol citizen to the everyone else, but katniss knew she wasn't. effie had a huge heart and did care for the rebellion. katniss kept thinking about everyone that was not in the capitol with her. she missed everyone dearly. 

dinner went slow in katniss’ eyes. the food was fantastic and the conversations weren’t too bad, she just felt like she didn’t belong. she was never one to really want riches, jewelry and disconnecting herself from those who had less than her. she was grateful when dinner had ended and bid them all ado, ready to go back to her room. at night time she was able to sneak out and visit johanna for a bit. the guards didn’t know she would leave her room, and if they did, they had enough trust in her at this point. they noticed the little changes in her, the trackerjacker poison and fake images had been working in warping her mind. 

she would lead her walking with her right foot instead of the left. she started to wear peeta’s necklace less. she would wear the lavish day outfits provided from president snow without disagreement. there was now this tiny doubt in the back of her mind about if the rebellion and all the fighting was worth it. slowly but surely she was starting to lose the girl on fire and become more susceptible to the messages of the capitol. the treatments they were giving her were working in their favor. she just hadn’t known they were this effective. what they were doing to katniss, they were also doing to johanna. trackerjacker poison, make her look at images of her life but adding in fake ones to trick her, make her mind go crazy. 

“do you miss it?” katniss asked johanna softly, her legs swinging back and forth as she sat on the edge of johanna’s bed. 

“miss what?” johanna replied. 

katniss peered over at her. she had shaved her head since she was on here, though katniss was still confused how she was able to get the razor and scissors in the first place. she had bruising too, where they would inject the needle with the poison. the light in her was starting to burn very slowly. 

“your life before the games, like before your first one,” she answered. 

“i don’t know, i guess. it was simpler back then, life was. after winning i was pushed into this capitol lifestyle and while i don’t hate what they gave me, i do miss the old life i had. what about you?” johanna now questioned katniss. 

“i miss when everything wasn’t so out of control. everyone is fighting now and it’s gotten worse the more i get involved, even when i barely do anything. i guess i also miss the simple life i had even though i didn’t have much. but i did have my mom, i had gale and i had my sister. and now, i don’t have any of it. i have no idea where they are. i wonder what would have happened if i never volunteered, if prim had never been picked,” she now turned so she was fully sitting on the bed. 

they didn’t talk after that. it was a comfortable silence or maybe it was a necessary silence. most nights went like this between them. it did help them grow closer. katniss learned a lot about johanna’s life before the games and how the games changed her. she wondered if they would ever be friends if they had met before the games. their lifestyles weren't too different, for johanna came from the lumber disctrict. it was starting to get late so katniss said goodbye to johanna, making sure to give her a hug before leaving the room. they were all each other had in the capitol. when she got back to her room, she settled into her bed. she made sure to grab peeta’s necklace from where she had hidden it and place it under her pillow. shutting her eyes, she had hoped that wherever peeta was, he was thinking of her too.


	4. lies upon lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> as her stay in the capitol continues to go on, katniss struggles with her identity and starts to realize the lies she had been told.

an image of peeta and her popped up on the screen. she was more out of it than normal, the image kept glitching in her eyes. she felt heavy to the ground and light in the air at the same time. in the image, peeta had her pinned against the floor. she had a cut on her leg from cato’s knife. her leg was bleeding fast. peeta was in a stratal position across her waist, his right arm crushing her windpipe. she looked like a helpless deer, struggling to breathe. his left hand held a sharp dagger and was pointing against her cheek, not breaking the skin. the careers were standing beside him, cheering him on to end her. his face was one of intense anger. katniss was scared at the image on front of her. he would never have tried to kill her, wouldn’t he? 

then the image changed. katniss tried to speak for this all to stop, she wanted to plead, to beg them, stop. the images kept popping up and her mind kept struggling to keep up. her wrists burned, she hadn’t realized she kept trying to break out of the restraints. the room felt abnormal hot compared to the normal cooling air. another image change. then, a voice echoed into the room. 

“that’s enough for today, get her prepped for the interview.”

the voice was cold, emotionless. after the mysterious voice spoke, the tv shut off. it left a very quiet buzz that only she could hear. two nurses walked up to her and released her restraints. one nurse looked at her with soft eyes, seeming to look like they had sympathy and were trying to apologize to her. but she waved it off, it had to be the trackerjacker poison. her heart was beating out of control and she felt her hair stick to her forehead. she wanted so badly to go to sleep. the two nurses helped her stand up by placing her arms around their necks and helped her walk to her bedroom. it took awhile because her feet struggled to move. the poison was making her body move at a slower pace than normal and she struggled to lift her legs up to take a step. 

on the way to her bedroom she noticed johanna in the hallway. her hearing wasn’t all there but she could swear she heard johanna cry out in help, pleading to not go into that dreadful room. and then, just like that, everything around her went black. she awoke to a loud noise. gasping for air as her eyes opened and she shot up in bed, she noticed where the loud noise came from. someone dropped a vase in her bedroom and it shattered. she looked around more and noticed that a very extravagant and formal outfit had been brought in, dress and all. saffrin walked in and noticed katniss’ distraught appearance. 

“it’s alright, katniss, i’m glad you woke up though. was a bit worried you’d wake up late,” saffrin said in a cheery voice.   
“sorry about the loud noise, president snow had gifted you some white roses and someone must’ve dropped the vase,” she continued, taking when she was done. 

“i understand,” katniss replied, swinging her legs off the bed. 

she noticed she was in a completely different set of hospital clothes. her legs had been shaved. she reached for her hair and felt the light dampness. they bathed her while she was passed out. it made her skin crawl. she sat there for a few moments to take everything in, not even realizing that saffrin continued speaking, informing her that it was time to get ready for another interview with caeser flickerman. when she was done getting ready, she looked in the mirror. she was wearing a white gown now. it reminded her of the one cinna designed for her wedding with peeta before the quarter quell. again, this time, the dress would not burn if she twirled. her heels were see through and you could see her freshly painted toenails, a light pink pearl color. 

her hair was pinned back in a beautiful design and she was wearing an abundant of gold jewelry. she spun around once and smiled when she looked at herself again. she wondered if she would have actually been this happy at her wedding with peeta. his name ran shivers down her spine and not in a good way. the normal good feeling she had gotten in her stomach was gone and she felt queasy. he was a liar. he never loved her. he only felt sympathy for her and wanted to make her weak. he came from a merchant family in district 12, from the bakery. she was from the seam. he could never love her, he was a liar. 

turning to face saffrin, she had tears in her eyes but she wouldn’t dare to cry. she gave saffrin a nod, letting her know she was ready to go to the interview room. just like last time, she sat in the comfortable chair and gave her attention to caesar. he had on a royal blue suit that shined bright. his hair was a dark blue, slicked back and in the ponytail. his eyebrows matched in color. she rested her right leg upon her left, her white gown flowing like a waterfall. the interview had gone great for awhile. her answers seemed more genuine when thanking the capitol. it didn’t take a genius, though, to see katniss’ true appearance. the gown, jewelry and natural makeup didn’t cover the clear weight loss and bruising upon her body getting worse. 

“is there anything else you’d like to say before we finish the interview?” caeser asked her in a warm voice, smiling when he was done. she nodded her head then turned to look at the camera. 

“peeta, you have to get out of there. you have to get everyone safe. they know you’re at district thirteen and by morning all of you will be dead! they’re going to bomb the place, you have to get out of there!” her voice raised the more she spoke. she had tears on her cheeks. 

she had overheard some peacekeepers discussing what president snow had in mind after the interview. while she didn’t trust peeta or the rest of the rebels, she would never stand for them to be murdered. she looked scared and distraught when she was yelling at the cameras. they cut off right after she said the bombs would go off and panic started to rise in the room, not from her. from the capitol government members. peacekeepers had made their way to her and grabbed her arms forcefully, pulling her out of the chair. their grip was extremely painful, she knew she’d have bruises tomorrow morning. they dragged her out of the room while she screamed. 

“let me go! let me go, please!” her screams were so loud. 

everyone was watching as the capitol darling, just betraying president snow, being dragged down the hall. they saw her tears, how weak she looked. they knew what was coming to her and they felt that she deserved it. how dare she betray the government helping her get back on her feet and give her a luxury she would’ve never had?

she stared at her surroundings as she was dragged down the corridor. she saw all the disgusted faces at the hospital workers and peacekeepers without their helmets on. the grip on her arms had started to feel numb. her shoes had come off her feet while being dragged, the cold tiles felt sharp against her exposed skin. she started so say sorry over and over. the dragging came to a stop when she felt herself being shoved into a chair. she knew where she was immediately. THE room. the restraints were clicked in. the pinch in her neck felt worse. perhaps they were injecting her with even more poison then normal. 

the images started again. another one popped up. her eyes were blurry from the tears but she could recognize this image perfectly. it was her and peeta in the quarter quell arena. peeta was laying on the ground with an arrow in his heart. a drop of blood slid out of his mouth. she was holding a bow in her hands and had just taken a shot. at him. he was laying on the damp sand, his arms to his side. katniss blinked because her eyes were burning. she wanted to tear her eyes away from the screen so badly but she couldn’t. she continued to stare at it. she killed him in the quarter quell. the capitol had lied to her, he was never with the rebellions. he was dead. she murdered him in the games. it must’ve been shortly after their last kiss because she had his necklace and the pearl with her in the capitol. she let out a strange sounding sob. 

the boy she had sought out answers for the entire time she was here was dead and it was her fault. she remembered when haymitch said she could never deserve a boy like him. haymitch was right. but it’s not like she wanted him anyways, he tried to kill her in the first games. their love was all a lie, a story to cover their asses for outsmarting seneca crane. she started to feel anger. anger at herself for being so stupid. anger at peeta for lying to her, trying to kill her. anger at the capitol for lying to her about him being alive to manipulate her. anger at haymitch for being right.

the images continued, almost as if the person playing them saw the switch in her flip. she stopped fighting back. she let her body become heavy in the chair and watch the images of her life play in front of her. she couldn’t remember how many moments had popped up before the screen suddenly shut off. the silent buzz started again and she sat there in silence herself. the nurses took off the restraints and dragged her to her bedroom. when she was placed on her bed, she waited until they closed the door on their way out and used all the strength she had to make herself get up. she had barely any time before she’d pass out from the venom, she could feel it happening. she ripped the dress off her body. 

it landed on the floor quietly. she struggled to take the jewelry off of her, she was so weak. she found the nightgown on her bed. with the last remaining strength she had, the last ounce she could muster, she pulled the dress over her head and over her body. the material felt cold upon her body even though she was burning hot. she fell onto the bed with a loud thud. it was dark in her room, there was very little light coming from outside. she breathed in and looked at the stars dancing outside her window. she closed her eyes slowly, not wanting to miss the stars finish their number. she couldn’t care to pull the blankets over her body, she had no strength left. she was ready to die in the hands of the capitol, of president snow. her family and friends surely must hate her at this point, not like she really cared for them either. 

as she breathed out and in one last time, tasting the sweetness from the cold air, she smiled softly. her mind started to ease and she felt extremely heavy upon the cotton blankets. she passed out immediately.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi, my loves. i hope you all had a wonderful may 4th and felt the fourth with you. i hope you are all enjoying the story so far. i am going to be a bit busy this next week with my college courses and personal life so i will try my best to upload more chapters. i know quarantine is making people read more fics so i don't want to disappoint y'all. thanks for reading and supporting my work <3
> 
> kai


	5. lightning storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> following the aftermath of her interview with caeser flickerman, katniss is in for a big storm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you all had a wonderful mother’s day! thank you for supporting my work and the kudos, makes my heart warm <3

katniss must’ve been asleep for at least a full two days. after all, she had gone to the image room twice in one day, it took a huge toll on her strength. she was getting weaker as the days went on. however, when she woke up this time, it was still dark out. it couldn’t have been later than 2 am. she slipped out of bed quietly and found her slippers at the corner of her room. she wanted to find johanna and spend a bit of time with her, she needed some sort of comfort. the guards didn’t trust her anymore, nobody from the hospital did. she knew she was risking punishment from leaving her room at this hour to find johanna, but she didn’t care. 

closing the door slowly and quietly behind her, she made her way towards johanna’s room. barely any lights in the corridor had been on and it seemed like guard wise the halls were empty. besides johanna and her, she hadn’t seen any other people on the floor. quickly making her way to johanna’s room, she ducked the cameras like usual the best she could. she counted how many steps until she would be at johanna’s door in a low whisper. 

“ten, nine, eight,” she whispered, her feet making no noise as she stepped from tile to tile.  
“four, three, two, one.”

she placed her hand on the cool metal knob and turned it gently, she couldn’t make ANY noise. the wooden door opened slowly and was closed just as slowly as katniss slipped into the room. she stopped for a few seconds, her back against the door, making sure that no guards had seen her or followed her. she hadn’t realized how fast her heart was racing as she stood against the cold wooden door. her mind was so clouded and she started to feel like she couldn’t breathe. she swallowed the lump in her chest before making her way to johanna’s bed. she tapped her shoulder softly a few times before johanna’s eyes finally opened. 

“shh, it’s just me,” she whispered to johanna. 

“i’m so glad you’re okay. i thought they killed you, i thought they finally killed you,” johanna said in a jumble as she sat up in bed and threw her arms around katniss. 

this was comforting to her. she had missed johanna’s hugs. katniss hugged back. they stayed in this position for nearly a minute, katniss leaning against johanna as their arms wrapped around each other. it felt warm. it felt kind. katniss let go first and sat at the end of the bed, facing johanna.

“how long has it been since you last saw me?” she asked.

“three days. they must’ve given you a bunch of the venom after you exploded during your interview. when you didn’t come to my room the third night i just assumed you were dead.” johanna replied softly. 

“do you know what happened to district thirteen?” she looked down at her hands and played with her fingers.

johanna shook her head, while she was nowhere near the threat katniss had been, they treated her like katniss. they didn’t speak after that. it was a lot for both of them to process. katniss couldn’t help but think that everyone had been bombed, there was no way they could get to safety against the capitol’s power. she wasn’t even thinking about peeta anymore, she was thinking about prim and her mom. katniss had known the second she woke up in the capitol she wouldn’t see her family ever again, but something about knowing that they were dead and having the reality set in, it hurt. prim and her mom didn’t do anything wrong. they never participated in anything that was deemed as rebellion worthy. they took care of others even though they didn’t have much themselves. they deserved to live, to be safe.

the sun was barely starting to shine among the darkness in the sky. it must’ve been near four hours that they had been sitting with each other on the bed, sometimes holding hands, sometimes sharing sad looks. katniss stared out the window. she recalled that peeta said his favorite color was orange like the sunset. she shook her head, almost wanting to scoff at herself. peering over at johanna, she noticed she was already asleep again. climbing off the bed as quietly as possible, she covered johanna back in the blankets and placed a soft kiss on her forehead, hoping johanna would know it was from her and that she had to go back to her room. just like going to johanna’s room, she did the same to go back to her own. she climbed back into her own bed and rested her head on her pillow. she couldn’t really sleep. her mind wouldn’t quiet down. 

it must’ve been a few hours before she heard any noise from outside her room. she had been staring at things mindlessly. her walls, out of the window, at the art decorating the walls, the door. she heard the click from her door and didn’t care to look at who was coming in. what was the point anymore? she sighed to herself and looked back out the window. it was now bright outside as the sun had fully risen. the capitol had started to wake up and carry on with their daily lives. 

“katniss, please pay attention to me,” she heard saffrin’s voice hinted with annoyance. 

she turned and faced saffrin, giving her a soft look to relay she was sorry for not listening. 

“your privileges are being revoked, per president snow’s rules. meals will be in here now and he wants to heighten security around your room. he is not happy with what you pulled during your interview, ya know?” saffrin spoke, her eyes not being able to look at katniss. 

katniss understood why he was doing what he was doing, but she felt it was unfair. he wasn’t being honest with everyone about what he was doing to her, to johanna, to the rebellion. she couldn’t even mutter a reply before two peacekeepers in full gear entered the room. they flanked the doorway. now seeing johanna at night would be impossible. katniss was nowhere near strong or fast enough in this state to take down the guards to escape the room. even if she could, she was sure more would flood to her room and stop her from leaving. she felt like more and more things were crushing her lungs, she was being suffocated by snow and he was winning. 

katniss couldn’t bare to answer saffrin, she didn’t know what to say to defend herself for trying to do the good thing. she realized in this moment that saffrin was truly a capitol citizen. another nurse walked in with a tray of food. it wasn’t as fancy as the usual meals she had been getting, but at least it was still food. she had been starving and nearly downed it all in one breath. the same nurse who brought the food in, took the tray out. saffrin had left while she was eating. 

“it’s time,” a peacekeeper spoke up by the door.

“what?” katniss said confused. 

“for your treatment. it’s time to go,” they replied, voice cold.

katniss pushed herself off the bed and stood up, nearly losing her balance. she hadn’t realized just how weak she had gotten. one peacekeeper walked in front of her, while the other walked behind her. her feet were cold against the tiles as she walked to the dreaded room. she didn’t fight back or disagree at all as she sat down in the chair and watched the nurses strap her in. she stared at the wall, her eyes looking empty. it was clear she had no battle left in her. they had broken her defense shield into millions of pieces that she couldn’t pick up and glue back together. the usual pinch in her neck returned for a second before the screen turned on. 

it was an image that only pushed the narrative from the capitol. this time it was in the quarter quell. it was just her and peeta, she had told him during the games that they should just run off, the two of them and hide somewhere until the inevitable would come at the end where only one of them would be coming out alive. apparently, they did run off because in this image they were the only ones in it. except this time, peeta had her pinned on the floor. her forehead had a gnash in it. he held one of her own arrows to her chest, almost puncturing her skin. she looked to be screaming for help. the image glitched a couple times before a new image popped up. the image where she had killed peeta. yet this time, the image looked animated like a video. the blood looked to be dripping out of her hands like a river. she felt sick looking at it.

she wanted to throw up, her stomach felt uneasy. her heart was beating rapidly. she could taste her sweat on her lips. she could feel her hair stick to her forehead. the screen switched again. this time it was a video from inside the quarter quell arena. she was wrapping the coil around her arrow as the sky started to become cloudy for the lightning storm. the lightning flashed and she quickly shot the arrow into the sky. she watched the arrow fly up as her body was thrown from the explosion. she watched the arena forcefield get hit and the cameras cut. she heard the noises, the words, everything from that moment. but it was all distorted. the noises sounded deep, scary. the video kept glitching and going slow. the venom was working clearly in poisoning her mind. 

then, the screen shut off. the usual buzz in her ears had returned. she could hear the guards in the room talk but heard it all in a distorted way. she could only pick up pieces of letters and had no idea what they were saying. one second they were by the door and the next they were gone. alarms started ringing outside in the hallway, they were loud in her ears. she heard commotion outside of the room, her senses flickering from working to not. there was definitely fighting going on but outside of that she couldn’t really tell. until explosions started going off. the first one sounded far away but the sound kept getting louder, as if they were becoming nearer to the room. boom. Boom. BOOM. the door flew back in splinters. she turned her head and tried to discern who was at the door. she couldn’t see much though. the people looked like blobs. 

she couldn’t see who’s faces belonged on the bodies. all she could mutter was “johanna, johanna,” over and over. she hoped they had understood that she meant to save johanna, to find her. the blobs moved closer and closer. her restraints had been removed and she felt herself hoisted onto someone’s shoulders. she normally would’ve fought back, she didn’t like others carrying her. but at this point, she just couldn’t walk on her own. her torso was hanging over their back, her hair swaying back and forth as they moved. she could barely recognize the tiles on the ground, the person must’ve been running. she kept muttering johanna’s name. she swore she heard someone say “it’s okay, catnip,” but assumed her mind was just messing with her. 

she hadn’t even realized that she was out of the hospital and outside. the air smelled fresh to her. she looked at the grass and noticed flowers every once in a while. then the ground was black, like cement. she hadn’t noticed the countless people around her shooting at peacekeepers and guards to ensure she wouldn’t suffer anymore damage or pain. the ground turned into metal, like the ones from the capitol planes. she felt her body gently be placed upon a bed secured to the floor. her reaction time was too slow to say anything before an oxygen mask had been placed over her mouth. she felt a strap upon her waist and tried to grab for it. she had it in her fist and tried to pull it away but someone’s hand grabbed hers softly. 

“it’s just so you don’t roll out of bed on the flight back to district thirteen, katniss. it’s okay. you can rest now, you’re okay,” the voice sounded so familiar but when she tried to see who it was, they were still a blob. she decided to listen to the person and stop fighting back, she didn’t have enough strength to keep it up. she released her grip on the strap and shut her eyes.

her body started to ease and melt into the bed. she felt soft covers being placed on her body. the oxygen flowing into her helped her heart rate stop beating so fast. her mind started to stop being so loud. she pictured the stars dancing in the night sky, how pretty they had been. and just like that, she was asleep.


End file.
